Cat-astrophes

Best night in a long time.

That's a pretty big call, because I like my nights, and I've had a lot of them.

I invited a bunch of random people salsa dancing last night. People not in my direct circle of friends. There were about 15 that showed up from an email or sms that was sent around. I have to admit it was an absolute ball. The abilities ranged from those who had never danced a step in their life to having grown up latino.

It was great to watch those who didn't know learn, and then have a ball putting their own interpretation on the moves. A lot of laughs I must say.

One guy there certainly surprised me - he said he hadn't danced in years and can't remember the moves, but he was tossing me around the dancefloor in a way I haven't moved in months. It was great! The last song though he took me down for a reversed dead-man's dip and on flinging me up the guy beside us dipped his partner - head-on collision if you know what I mean. The funny thing is I ended up concussed from it. Hmm...maybe that's not funny!

Everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves though. At the end of the night, one of the 'never-danced-a-step-befores' pulled me aside and thanked me for the evening saying how good it was to have so much fun with people in such a safe environment, and then, getting a little emotional choked "This is how the world should be".

I laughed thinking he was putting it on, but he didn't laugh back.

Way to kill a moment.

So now, I'm going to take my dizzy-pretty-lights-keep-flashing head and run off for my monthly massage :)

Such a hard life.



xxx

I've been operating the past year without a printer. This was basically because my poor old bubble jet churns out a shocking amount of ink, and the cartridges now cost $75 each (more for colour!). I tried giving the printer away but noone would take it.

My flatmate is currently enjoying it as a doorstop.

I decided to finally look into new ones. After much research I found a 3-in-1 printer that my camera can also talk to and print photographs (that really look like photos!) for $89. $14 more than a cartridge for my old one.

It also came with two bonus cartridges usually $35 each.

I could almost buy a new printer everytime I ran out of ink.



xxx

HOOORAY!!!!

My temporary-flat-mate has found a house!!!

YAY!!!!!

This means I will have 'my space' again without having to define lines and boundaries. It also means we can go back to being 'friends', not 'people who share living space'. It also means I can continue living my life without answering 20 questions every evening regarding where i have been, what I did, who I was with, for what length of time, what I was wearing and what it was like....

However...I *am* thankful for the lessons learnt along the way. Although it has been a very long 8 weeks, and although I know there is another 4-6 to come...and although I have probably moaned and groaned almost all the way, I don't think I would change it.

....okay, maybe I would change a few things...


xxx

Sleep? It's becoming more and mre sporadic. Unfortunately, sporadic sleep at night means sporadic sleep by day. I'm slipping back into last year's patterns - falling asleep at the desk, reading the class a book but not remembering a page, dozing off at traffic lights until someone beeps from behind...

I fell asleep standing up yesterday. That was fun until I lost my balance.

After work I started getting a magnetic word-building board ready for a lesson on Monday. I woke up half an hour later with 'ip' and 'on' stuck to my forehead and cheek. I staggered to my bedroom and slept for an hour more.

Of course I woke up bright and sunshiney, so off to salsa I went...unfortunately, it means that now I am wired, awake and alert. My mind says sleep, but the rest of me won't follow.

...so I guess I'm going to go lay down and contemplate the shadows.

xxx

So I look in my mailbox to pull out my house key and what do I see? A plain envelope with 'Cat' written on the front.

hmm...

Too thin for a card...hate mail? Death threat maybe?

A single small piece of cardboard falls to the ground.

My my...maybe age is catching up to me.

You know those grumpy old women you come across every now and then? I think I became one this week. Okay...maybe not completely grumpy, and I guess I don't qualify just yet as 'old', but I was definately one miffed chicky.

I actually told somebody to 'stay out of my personal life, and mind (their) own business'.

Not quite like me to become so vocal, but I guess the frustration of the last post accumulated. Here I was thinking I was calm, cool and collected...

But the lesson learnt was this...

Although I was driven absolutely nuts by this person, I found that they actually appreciated me saying 'get outta my life'. I guess it made my boundaries explicit. I found it ironic - it took me almost two hours to express to this person that I don't see them as a close friend and they have no authority to take matters of my life into their hands...but they walked away satisfied!

She actually said she had a lot of respect for me saying that.

...so I am here to re-emphasize....women are complicated.

I never thought I would be that abrupt with someone, and I never dreamt that they would respond with such admiration.

The moral of my story is this - point out the speck in everyone's eyes - they'll love you for it!

Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility for unpredictable repurcussions of exercising such actions due to the complicated antics of females.


xxx

Why are women so complicated???

And I can safely go on about this because I am one...

A few weeks ago, possibly months, I was having coffee with a male friend. He made some fly-by comment "girls are too complicated...haha" he added nervously "just kidding". But I stood there, soy decaf mocha paused mid-way between table and lips and said...

"you know, you are absolutely right".

That has been confirmed for me this week. Why is it that I can't go on my merry way without a swarm of curious-ones needing to know every detail of every movement of my life? And why is it that my silence means 'something is going on' and stories are created where there are none?? And why oh why oh WHY is it that it is assumed that because someone lives with you they are the one to go to for the gossip when the person in question won't give it???

This is where I adore the simplicity of the male. When they spend time together, they do stuff. They might talk, but D&Ms are optional, and even then they do not have to include finer details. When males co-habitate it is just that. They pass each other in the hall and in the kitchen, but they don't demand to know every detail of your day when you walk in the door.

And HOW is it that females assume they are 'helping' by getting involved in the affairs of others WHEN IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM????? What's more frustrating is when they assume they have that much influence in your life to allow them to do that!

*breathe*

Okay. I think I feel better now.


xxx

I like music without lyrics. It says so much without words getting in the way.

Words annoy me. I love them.

I'm working my way through my CD collection. Its amazing what memories come with certain albums. Songs are like smells - they are so intimately linked with moments. Even a brief aroma evokes some sort of related emotion.

Right now I'm listening to the song 'Shacklyn Knights' (Medeski Martin & Wood) and it is bringing back the simple sheer thrill of discovery. Something like 6 years ago I was watching laaaaaate tv (brief episode of insomnia) and at something like 3am there was a music show playing a one hour set of fusion. That was the first time I heard this trio. I was determined to find more. I did a net search and discovered that my chances of finding any stuff in Australia was slim to none.

If you know the slightest thing about me you would know that situations like that make me even more determined.

Thus began the real search. I scoured CD stores until I begged FISH records to import something for me (this was before I worked there...). They don't like to import for customers. I begged, I pleaded, I bargained and bribed. They ordered it in for me.

During the 6 week wait I was wandering through a local CD shop. It would've been sometime in the year 2000. There in the acid section was 'The Dropper' sitting up front.

It was one of those moments where you are certain that the heavens open and a choir of angels sing a chord in celebration.

So there we go - in my excitement I listened to the album on random setting and Shacklyn Knights was first up.

Why am I telling this story?

Because I should be doing work.

xxx

Two days. I feel like I have aged two years!

My new class are cute. Very cute. However they are ravenous, blood-sucking little monsters! Don't let size fool you...these pint-sized critters are deadly. Oh they have adorable smiles and gorgeous lisps as they twinkle "Dood Mowning Mith Bow-eth", but don't turn your back on them for a second...they'll be eating glue, spurting blood from their noses, undoing shoelaces, rolling under the table and asking you the same question ten times just to see if you will react.

This I can handle, because my last two classes were like this (even though they were older). The finishing touch is the tears, the tantrums, and the sheer-defiant will of the six-year old. I'm almost ready to take on toddlers now that I have taken on the flailing fists of a very strong and stocky Sudanese girl.

She is beautiful. Absolutely stunning features...but one particular feature (her right hook) certainly has the ability to stun you even more so...

Anyway - on the 'up' side...I'm enjoying the new challenge.

On another up-side, thanks to a great friend with convenient contacts, I get to see the Missy Higgins concert in the Hunter Valley *free*! Yay for friends! There may also be the possibility of hanging with the roadies (this friend is helping out with one of the support acts) ...I want to see whether they really are as they appear...and I want to sloth alongside them, and glean from their knowledge of slothiness.

So all-in-all, it is going to be a busy, yet eventful weekend. Surely there will be some relaxation time in there somewhere......surely

Oh...and lastly - I finally obeyed doctors orders and joined a gym. I never thought I would see the day...but there you have it. I'm a rat in a wheel 3 or 4 days a week.

xxx

"Don't go...I'll change, I promise."

"Sorry, it's beyond that."

"But I need you."

"No you don't. Besides it's time for a change."

"I don't want change, I want you."

"It's over Cat, don't beg, it's not becoming of you."

"pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease"

"let go of me"

"pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease"

"you're hurting me"

"please?"

"let go of my leg"

Cat lets go of Holidays' leg and watches him wander off into the sunset. Work winks at her.
"Well, helloooooooooooo!" he sleezes.

I think I need a hug.

xxx

I don't know how long this is going to go for. What is my aim here? To get 'off' coffee.

Strangely I feel better - the big dark patch of skin under my eyes has faded a little. Bargain.

However, I do not recommend going on a coffee fast and then trying to survive on 3 hours sleep either. No I'm not tired. I love talking dribble to strangers. What was I saying?

Do I take a cat-nap and wake up hot and bothered? Do I ride out the tiredness until I collapse tonight?

Best Friend came by - we stretched out on the couch for a while. I closed my eyes for a moment. I fell off the couch half an hour later when her husband came buzzing on my doorbell. It was that horrible deep-half sleep, where you fall into a deep sleep straight away, (too deep for the likings of a day-nap) and wake up prematurely feeling more tired than before you drifted off.

Lack of sleep was worth it though. Another gig.

This time I was able to analyse a different dynamic. The band played well - infact possibly better than the last time I heard them. The venue was empty. Good for me because less people means more chest-thumping, rib-reverberating sound to absorb, but I guess it would have been discouraging for the band.

How do you draw a crowd when there is none?

Actually the city was strangley deserted last night. Driving down a well-known 'lively' part of Sydney you would have thought it was mid-week. Not a Friday.

It also made me think of all the amazing riffs or solos that must go unnoticed and unheard. Whether it is a sleepy little venue, or finding inspiration in a solitary place - there must be some pretty incredible lost material out there.

Anyway, my point is - kudos to the band for keeping up the standards to entertain a few 'swayers' down the front, a couple of drunkards down the back, some people busy playing the pool up on the balcony, and one gal in the middle of it all in a trance.


xxx

It has been 80 hours since my last coffee.

I think this has been a record since I was 17.

I have nothing more to say to you people.

xxx

xxx

This is the only coffee I drank yesterday!

Today my eyes are aching - but no shakes or headaches. So to celebrate, I'm going to have a coffee! Decaf...soy...

I used to scoff at decaf-soy-drinkers. "One pretend coffee coming up..." I would call these 'psuedo lattes'. Now I'm finding myself ordering them more and more. Decaf because I'm determined to 'come clean' and soy because it is easier on the old stomach. (Milk gives me a preggy-belly and pains to rival labour...ok, maybe not that bad...)

The one problem with soy is that each cafe is different. Not only each cafe, but each barista. For anyone that has played with milk before would know that soy can be a pest - but done properly, it is glorious stuff. Firstly, it heats far too quickly. It will simmer for awhile and suddenly boil. Burnt soy tastes yucky.

Secondly it is quite a feat to froth - but if you can, it produces the glassiest glossiest finish...so shiny and smooth you could almost see your reflection on it.

The bottom line is I often don't see it worth the risk. So I put up with birth instead.

But enough about coffee (starting to crave.....!!!!)

Here is a thought on writing lyrics - Ron describes John Butler's ability to make up words as more creative than writing actual words.

It's one thing writing beatiful lyrics and verses, but it's a whole different story creating a whole language for the sole purpose to sound funky.

I find I actually agree here. I was talking to a friend last night about why I never *really* got into music (in terms of playing/singing). I used the metaphor of language - Art is my first language. Music inspires me in such a way that French or Itallian may have on an English speaker. I may try to muck around with expressing myself in another lanugage - but I can never really communicate myself the way I can in my native tongue.

Lyrics are the same. Why use words to express what words can never really explain? Make up your own - then there is no room for misinterpretation at all. So with that I will leave you with these profound words...

Bler fooper blingar wulla. Myet haf phlup.

xxx

The next person who hits this site will be number 1000.

Go on, claim your glory - leave a comment!

And if you are number 1001 and noone has already done so - pretend you were!

In the meantime, read this. Not only do they play great music, but you can also read great banter. I pay special respects to the theory of distance travel within Australia and the mechanical ability of musicians....

peace & brussel sprouts

xxx

My brother is an interesting individual. He says unusual things. This tumbled out yesterday:

"That really boils my potatoes"

But imagine it in a southern drawl -

"Thet reeallay boyols mah pertayters"

Apparently it's from the Simpsons, so I guess his individuality score just dropped a point. Lucky for him, the 'happy slappy ninja' escapade gave him a few extra ones to keep up his sleeve.

Happy Birthday Cameron.

...and Kieran...may your year be full of Megabytes.


xxx

Firstly - I began the day with a laugh.

Secondly...I got distracted by more shiney things:

I have a confession. I love CDs. Oh yes, the stuff that is on them can be good - great even...but have you ever looked really closely at a CD? I mean, disc-in-your-face kind of close. Go on, do it now - get a CD out and revel in its shininess.

CDs are the next best things after diamonds. The way they refract light is incredible. They eminate pure unadulterated colour.

If you hold it up to your nose it is just like being in a rainbow.

Here is that rainbow according to my camera:







xxx

This is a label from a 'designer T-shirt' I was given...


xxx

It has been brought to my attention that I have made a bit of a misprint.

Yesterday I discussed this underground science of 'dating' (or pick-up-ing) that I never knew existed. I found a few articles I briefly glanced over amusing.

I didn't read the material thoroughly, and have apparently misinterpretted 'the main idea' of Mutual Value Escalation. It is not infact (to quote myself)

getting a girl to lower her standards you can increase your own value

But rather that is merely a 'suggestion'. Instead the main idea of the article could be summed up in this paragraph:

You make her into a 9.5. Who is that dependant on? YOU! She feels stronger, smarter, more confident, more socially savvy, more beautiful, and more powerful around you. Without you, she can't have that. What does that do for your value?

10/10, gentlemen. When you deliver a compliment well (that's where the game comes in), you increase your value and hers... and yours MORE.

So there we go...I have cleared up that little issue. My apologies to Dimitri.

However - one question? What if her 'value' isn't dependant on Mr Smooth? A stronger, smarter, more confident, more socially savvy, more beautiful and more powerful woman isn't these things if she is only them around Mr PickUp. She doesn't need compliments, because she knows who she is. She is the one who will smile sweetly and say 'thankyou' then turn and walk away.

Just a thought.

Before I go I must quote this last gem:

Don't try to cut women down so you're better than them. Instead, lead them and make people around you better people. You can do this by encouraging them, complimenting them when they do well, and disciplining them when they fail.

Oh you brave brave soul...I have deep respect* for anyone who tries disciplining a woman (who is not 'attatched') and survives! And I'm allowed to say that because I am one...so please no emails complaining about that one either!!!!

*disclaimer: 'respect' is used loosely in this sense and does not reflect any true opinion of the author

xxx

Firstly, I got excited that my last post was timed '11:11'.
Secondly, I stumbled across an interesting find whilst waiting (still) for these rotten CDs to finish.

The art of complimenting. I chuckled at some of the truths here until I read another entry...and then another...hang on... I scroll down the page to find entry after entry on the theory of dating. Is this guy for real? A site devoted for guys wanting to better their chances at finding a girl.

Here you will find many theories on the opposte sex including confidence, persistance and, oh who could pass up this 'wisdom', mutual value escalation (whereby in getting a girl to lower her standards you can increase your own value!!)! And in case that isn't enough for you, there are many links to other appropriate websites...

Infact...there are even workshops! My goodness...I was never aware of this science...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'll just shake my head.


xxx

In trying to get another site up and running I have far exceeded my monthly Mega-Limit...

I've been throttled.

Down to a painful 32kbps.

That's mean.

What's more, I have been trying to burn more fire safety VCDs (We're all about safety here), and my pooter doesn't like the CDs, so it has reduced its burning speed to 8x......ARGH!!!!

I'm a patient person though... *cough*

So while I am waiting for CD #3 - I bring you some eye-candy from the latest fire-episode (BBQ at a friends place last night). Please keep in mind that this post has taken me 15 minutes so far...so please enjoy...infact, I demand you marvel at the plumes of flames...


Note concentration.

Oh yes...and I'm not the only one who gets crazy ideas when it rains...


xxx

The beach is the perfect place for fire twirling. There is nothing like waves and flames side by side...unless there is rain...

Obviously fire and water aren't the best of friends, but with a constant mist as it was last night, they go together gloriously! Especially when you're with a newbie...

I often joke that a friend of mine is my 'apprentice' because I've been teaching the basics to twirling. I have to admit he is a natural - one of the fastest learners I have seen. So I thought last night was the perfect time to put his new skills to practice.

It's great watching someone go from 'oh yeah, I can do this...' to potential-pyro.


He's on the left (with a spectacular trail), I'm on the right (looking like I've tangled myself up in flames...)

Being a night of firsts, I decided to light my new double staves and see if I could burn some hair...

I didn't burn anything, but when Mr Apprentice picked up one of the smaller, skinnier staves he did some weird crazy spinny drummer-thing with it and I suddenly realised that I now had competition.


xxx

Fireworks are the best invention since gunpowder.

I wandered down to Prince Alfred Park yesterday to watch the sound check, and then saw the lads rehearse - glad I did. I love nothing more than unplanned jamming...it just sounds so...invigorating...? That's the only word I can come up with.

I guess it is for musos for me when given unbridled access to paint and canvas - it's raw creativity at its finest.

That was great because being one of the only ten people in the park you could feel every beat penetrate your ribcage and pulverise all the squishy bits inside. Goosebump factor of 8.9.

On top of that, I had the chance to see this little gadget - an electric drill with a 'donger-thingo' attatched. A cheating drumroll if ever I saw one!! Ingenious...


The weather seemed to turn a lot of early-birds away and the crowds really didn't start to just under an hour before, but when the 'parade of fire' came down the path in a shower of sparks, let me tell you I was glad I came early (pathside seats).




Oh but then came the music. This time with a few thousand more extra ribcages to rattle, the goosebump factor was lowered a little. Except what they lacked in 'boom' they made up with lights, smoke and bigger BOOMS!

All in all it came to a dazzling finale in a display that could possibly rival the rapture. Talk about fire raining from the skies...


Have I mentioned that I love my digital camera?

Last one - to give you an idea, this looks like a close up...but it isn't...this is the sky above Prince Alfred Park at about 9:30pm...One big explosion:


KaBOOM! hahahaha

xxx

I'm cooking...it is tasting superb (if I'm allowed to say so...) except a piece of fettucine has escaped down the side of one of the cooktop burners and is filling up my little abode with that horrible stench.

But that's not why I'm writing.

Before I perform I get jittery. My stomach gets all flighty and jumpier than usual. It's not so much the crowd and people watching (though that doesn't help) because your focus becomes more on your hands and not getting burnt. The nerves are more to do with the excitement of playing in amidst all of those flames!

That's how I'm feeling at this moment...except it is not me doing the playing. This time I get to spectate. 'Concert of Fire' is performing down the street today. Yes, it is more to do with pyrotechnics rather than the fuels I play with, but sparks none-the-less. Still, even fireworks don't usually get me this flighty...

...it's the drum-factor.

Right at this moment they are doing a soundcheck that I can hear allllllll the way back here.

boomboomboomboomboomba BOOOOOM!

haha...loveit

I don't think Gabriel is going to sound a trumpet when Jesus comes - he's going to have an army of angels with a whole tribe of drums...

xxx

Yeah, interpret that.

xxx

Bad habit #34 - distraction:

I often get distracted by shiny things. More often than not, these shiny things involve fire. However, on days like today, 'shiny things' is a broader category.

I don't think my computer has been disconnected over the past 3 hours - yet I have probably sat here for a total of 20minutes during that time.

There's just too much else to look at.

Like my fish.

I have a few zebra-something-or-others. Now, when I first bought these fish I was told that they were schooling fish. They needed one another for comfort and safety. I could deal with that - they could keep each other company whilst my goldfish swam around in circles looking pretty all day.

Unfortunately my goldfish died over a period of time. They were old and lived a happy life sucking algae from pebbles.

Since the absense of these gentle giants, I have noticed a rather alarming change in these 'schooling fish'.

They have become territorial.

Each fish measures a mere 3cm in length, but they guard their section of the fishtank with all passion, aggression and fervor! One in particular patrols the front of the tank methodically. Another peeks from beside a piece of driftwood, and the other swims back and forth at the back. If someone swims a little to close to the borders of someone else's territory...look out!

It's complete aquarium anarchy.

I think one of them likes to stir up trouble for the fun of it too.

Reminds me of someone I know....

(I can almost see someone's ears going red right now...)

Maybe fish really only do school for security - and when the possibility of danger is erradicated, their greed for power takes over. A selfish relationship indeed... (George Orwell eat your heart out...)

Oh yes, and what of the doctors?? FREEDOM!!!!

for awhile...

No more needles at least for (hopefully) 6 months.
*that* is something to lift a glass to (latte of course)

xxx

I'm not cut out for flatting...

My flatmate (temporary flatmate) came home yesterday and I hid in my room. I got bored quickly, so came out for a moment, was bombarded with questions so hid outside on the balcony. When she realised that I was only outside and 'not asleep' I was bombarded with more questions. So I got to cleaning...

...then I went to sleep.

Is this what that stereotype is all about where husbands say all they want is peace and quiet, but the Mrs keeps chattering? I think I now understand...

Anyway...off to the doctors for round 6....


xxx

I never made it out of the house - I ended up wrestling with the ancient warlord 'Laundroid'.

Don't be alarmed, I overpowered him with a combination of fabric softener and magical washing powder.

I then puzzled over how to hang 3 loads of washing including manchester in a small flat (sharing washing machine and hanging space all of a sudden has put a temporary spanner in my independant routine...). Quite pleased with the idea to hang dark, damp sheets over open windows, I read infront of my new solar powered 'evaporative cooler...'. Thankyou global warming.

The charm was, the sheets were all but dry within minutes (or tens of minutes...) and by the time they were all folded there came a storm!!!So I spent the next hour dancing from window to window (after a rather close strike pulled me off the balcony and back inside).

Anyway, one last thing to share...a photo from my recent adventure abseiling...

This was obviously not the descent, but a bit of a walking track (and a rickety one at that) leading down to some rocky ledges by the ocean. Absolutely spectacular views, but I have to admit I was in love with this 'path'.

Even though doom felt imminent, it had such a rustic charm about it.

...and the way the water swirled around underneath like my washing did this morning, made everything so Indiana Jonesish...

I felt like doing a summersault all the way down...

...but that would be silly.

 

It's early, and it's hot.

Okay, I know it isn't as hot as it has been this summer, but it is still enough to be sticky and uncomfortable. Which has again lead me to wonder what I can do with today that could revolve around getting cooler.

I did this very thing on that 47 degree day...the New Year was spent searching for air-conditioning. I am proud to say that when I wasn't at church or in a cafe, I was soaking in a pool - right up until that change blew through at 10pm...

Now I have a single warm line on my head where there is a crack in the curtains. If I move about 2 centimetres every 5 minutes I'm sure I could be char-grilled by 9am.

Enough babble...on with the search.

I think I'll begin with coffee before it gets too hot for that.


xxx

Last night after seeing a friend play at a gig somewhere in south Sydney I stood outside in the rain. I was watching the drops fall infront of a street lamp - they appeared to be floating in slow motion to the ground. I didn't realise I had a smile on my face, and I didn't realise they were watching.

"You really enjoy the simple things, don't you?"

I decided to make a day of simple things.

Unfortunately there wasn't anymore rain, however I *did* manage to get lost trying to find my way to Balmoral. Instead I decided to find the simple things in Manly, because that's where I ended up.

I found a little cafe and had THE BEST LATTE I'VE HAD IN YEARS. Then celebrated the coffee with a big fat gourmet chicken burger (marinated chicken breast...crispy bacon....toasted tasty cheese....drool drool drool) and salad.

Then on the way home I did indeed find Balmoral, and enjoyed a walk, the scenary, the wind, the sand (tasty). Good photo oppurtunities there...

Then I enjoyed a Cat-nap...as all people should do.

Now I am reliving uni-music and have pulled out old mini-discs (Soko - In November Sunlight and Tim Reynolds - Common Margins) to listen to music with no complicated fandangled lyrics (after having Van Morrison's 'Brown Eyed Girl' stuck in your head for a day it is a much-welcomed break, believe me!)

Tonight I'm off to a salsa social...but not before one big fat coffee and a Lindor chocolate...dark of course...

xxx

Every now and then, somebody comes into your world with a couple of words that stick with you for a lifetime.

They may be words that give you hope - for Oprah it was a woman that let her know she was beautiful.

They may be words that destruct - "hey, you're smart....who would've thought?"

They may simply be words that keep you guessing.

Two years ago a friend made a statement about a personal matter that didn't mean much to me at the time besides 'what does he mean by that?'. Stranger still was that it turned out he was right, I was wrong. Then came the questions that I still wonder to this day - what could he see that I couldn't? What made him say that statement in the first place?

What it was that he said is irrelevant. What I find intriguing that it still haunts me to this day. I'm sure if I was to ask him about it, he probably wouldn't have a clue what I was on about - so often we blurt out words that exist only for the moment they were spoken in, and become nothing to us who said them. However for the person we spoke them to, they become milestone moments that have the potential to change the very course of our lives.

Ooh...I'm deep today!



xxx

The butterflies have returned with a vengeance. Infact I think they have become carnivorous and are currently enjoying rennovating my insides.

Strangely they have never been this bad before - so although this whole process is scary, I'm finding it intriguing also.

Still awaiting my doctor to return from his holidays so I can get the results from the last blood test. Still off red meat and iron-rich foods. Still dropping like a zombie at 8pm. Still forcing myself to stay awake.

Still drinking coffee...

Actually, that is probably the one thing that hasn't benefitted at all throughout this whole health-thing. Since being told that caffeinne inhibits iron-intake I have found it to be a new reason to drink it! I've stopped limiting myself to 3...and lately 4 cups have become a daily minimum. Still a far cry from the old days, but still not good on the old system. The other day I wandered around with a splitting headache before realising that I hadn't had a coffee in 24 hours. I stumbled to the nearest cafe and within 20minutes the headache had vanished.

Hi. My name is Cat. And I have a problem...


xxx