Cat-astrophes

I often find myself doing things or saying things I once vowed I never would. More often I find myself rolling my eyes at the prenatal me thinking 'if only you knew, sweetheart'.

Other days I get pretty narky with her (prenatal me) and her silly attitudes and wish I could give her a good hard talking to. I have more than a thing or two to say to her.

So I've started writing her letters. Letters to Prenatal Me. Hopefully I can give her a bit of a wake up call. It's doubtful but worth a shot. In the least I can vent about her stupidity.

You can read along if you wish...

letterstoprenatalme.blogspot.com

Okay, there is some measure of pink (aka normality) back on this page. A few bugs to iron out, but they can wait.

I've started a little creative project, but will talk more about that later...

I recently discovered that blogger had changed their templates. Not that I care much except for the fact my mobile site turned up in a really dull grey...

Curiosity got the better of the cat once again.

And of course I manage to trash my whole template right before bed. That'll teach me for procrastinating...

I guess it's time for a change. Just bear with me while I try to make it home again.

Approximately 60 000 people worldwide have or will soon be discovering that they have somehow befriended a @JoshHelfferich on Twitter. They might wait a moment, paused, befuddled at this person's tweets somehow appearing in their feed - as I was, seeing as 'real' people I follow I could probably count on one hand.

They may not notice due to some stupid number of random people they follow for no good reason.

Either way, you probably didn't follow @JoshHelfferich by choice.
But I bet you were a follower of TextInstagram? The witty one liners that made fun of about 85% of instagram content in a hit? (and of course I can't think of *one* off the top of my head. But it is 6:27 am, and I have been up 12 times last night, so I'm forgiven)
Ah yes, the old switcharoo.

Jeff Helfferich was the mastermind behind TextInstagram. I give him kudos for making me chuckle on more than one occasion. When that ship ran it's course he deleted all tweets and renamed it as his own personal account. Genious, right?

Do I really care for the uncatagorised one liners of a random person? I don't believe so. So why not hit unfollow? Because it's like watching a train crash. Or a really bad movie. How will 60-something-thousand followers react when they find they've been had?

And have we been really had? What sort of slimy one is this guy pu lling? Publicity stunt? Career move? Followers Envy? Or did he seriously think because of one idea people will want to listen to everything else he had to say?

What has really intrigued me is the reactions of the people. Some have voted with their finger and just switched him off (about 10 000 in the first day). Some have reacted angrily, bitterly and quite venomously. Some have applauded the little sneaky move. Then there are a bunch of fence sitters who kind of shrug their shoulders (I think these are the ones that also have stupid amounts of random people they have forgotten why they follow in the first place).

I assume there are more like me too. The ones watching voyeuristically to see what happens next. Then when it all dies down, he'll get the flick.

Why is this all so controversial? One Tweeter phrased it so well: "Transparency is the currency of trust in Internetland." - @brookr

It is ironic that in such a virtual world where you can almost literally be anyone, do anything... We still value trust above all else. Even though there are a bunch of us private paranoids who make up pseudonyms and dance around real information, and another bunch who 'self improve' online, the moment we find out we've been 'had'.... The whole net falls apart (HA! Pardon the pun).

Someone could argue that it is some sort of evidence that there is still that human desire for values - for the golden rule even when presented with the opportunity for intellectual anarchy (so to speak).

Sorry Josh. I don't know you from the guy down the street. I follow some randoms on instagram because they have talent. And are witty. And don't beg to be followed.

You may be one talented fellow for all I know, but come on, it's the principle of the matter.

Okay finally. I bring you all things Hooty from the party...

First I bring you the finished product of the Hoot cupcakes... I originally had grand plans of making a 3d hootabelle cake, but common sense kicked my butt (and then a lovely friend offered to do the cake for me anyway...hoooray!) but I had already started mixing purple icing. I think I would do this again - fail safe cupcake icing! Roll blobs into balls and then roll flat - tada! Cupcake covered! I then popped a Hoot on top. (mud cake courtesy of Aldi. Sorry....)



Hoot Biscuits
I had originally planned to make my own sugar biscuits using shapes I had seen on Pinterest. I was then going to ice each one by piping them with royal icing...
And then reality slapped me.
One packet of arrowroot biscuits and that good ol' orchid ready to roll icing (already mixed in Hootish colours from the cupcake toppers) dotted with black edible writing gel. They were done within half an hour. (little tip - add the eyes just before setting out as the writing gel doesn't set hard and you'll end up with pupils everywhere.)


Hootaballoon

Okay I'm a little proud of this idea. Turning a mere people balloon into Hootabelle... Little One even recognised it! =) win! A balloon, coloured paper, cardboard (for the feet...i used empty cake packets), scissors and glue stick was all this took.
Tips for this one: chop off the nobbly bit of the balloon to assist in standing upright. I cut a slit in the cardboard and slid the end of the balloon in. Blutac was my best friend holding this bouncy lady in place on the food table.


Party Bags

Print, cut, paste!
Plain coloured paper bags from Ronis for $2. Bargain.


Rainbow Cakes
Okay, not my idea, and not Hooty, but had to include a pic of the finished product :)
Tip: icing in a can (the spray kind) ended up being my party day saving grace here... Knocked them over in a jiffy and the clouds looked extra puffy. Learnt that humidity makes the rainbows flop though =(


Finally....
Look at what my friend did.... The best darn Hoot & Hootabelle cake ever!


Xxx Thank you Emma!! (excuse dodgy background.... )

Oh yes.... And a picture of the toilet sign. I don't know about you...  maybe you can *actually* get your house immaculate before a party. I couldn't. So I had a junk room. Actually, we had two. We also had babies and little ones coming which meant that the toilet and bathroom doors needed to stay shut.
Well I didn't want some poor soul to accidentally open the door to Pandora's Junk Room (I'm sure her stuff wasn't limited to that one little box) so signs made it fool proof!! (though I did hear you, Mark, walk into the bathroom and say "oh, this isn't the toilet!" even though you have been to our house a dozen times before...)
So simple, but highly recommended.
Okay, I think that's enough sugar for today! (oh yes, sorry parents.... There was a lot of blue sugar, wasn't there?)

Party is over. It rained out so we were all squished inside. Luckily the 50-something guests came and left at different times so it really only became squishy-squashy at one point.
The mini jumping castle was a hit (no, not a hired one - a Kmart-blow-it-up-yourself one) and we filled it with balloons for bonus extra added funness. I think only 2 popped so that was pretty good!
... The irony behind this post is that I didn't finish it. While I was writing I started feeling pretty queasy. What followed was downright nasty. A long severe bout of gastro.
It is one week after the party and though I'm still weak in the legs and not eating real food yet I'm almost up for the job of recounting junk food and stuff....
Stay tuned...

Hoot cupcake toppers!
Here we have an army of Hoots ready for my little Hootabelle's 1st Birthday party. Made from a box of orchard ready to roll icing, a tube of black writing gel and a whole lot of patience.
Oh and colouring. A lot of colouring....

Well the 12 weeks is up!

So much for blogging! I actually came here to blog about how I'm about to set off on another 12 weeks completely forgetting it was a pact I made here a few months ago...

I didn't completely fail. In fact I lost about 10 kilos. I certainly failed at blogging regularly... But that seems to be a resolution I have trouble keeping at the best of times.

This journey is about the 12 weeks (and then some) over winter. The time I find the hardest to stay motivated. If I can do that, I know I can achieve anything... But I also know I need to act now as I'm already losing my mojo.

Weighing in at just under 59 kilos I'm happy with the number - right on goal on the slightly lower end of my healthy weight range. I fit into clothes I haven't for years (I've lost 2 dress sizes) and despite being crazy tired (due to a cute little muffin) I'm feeling pretty good.

So now my goals look a little different. My focus is shifting away from numbers and kg and cm to the less recordable consistency, toning and strengthening.

My motivation this time? Hopefully will be wearing a bikini in the middle of winter....in FIJI! =)

I think I've mentioned before that I suck at New Year Resolutions. Well I still do, but nevertheless this year I have actually started a commitment to becoming healthier.

Not lose weight. Not diet. Just 'healthier'.

I'm being accountable to a great group of girls which is both brilliant and sucky.

Brilliant because they'll kick my butt if I slack off...and sucky because...well, because they'll kick my butt if i slack off...it means no more excuses to myself because they are all so resourceful that they'll come up with wonderful 'alternatives' to keep me on track!

So how am I going? Great! Yesterday i went swimming and started my 100 squats 100 situps 100 pushups challenge and only ate 2 Magnums!

Today I wandered around the city for about 3 hours, continued the 100ssp challenge and had a mountain of yummy Indonesian for lunch.

Okay, so I never said I was going to plummet into a health kick. I'm kind of wetting my toes a little to get used to the water. For Day 2 I'm doing okay.

Who knows, maybe at the end of the 12 weeks I'll be able to look back with a little triumph. That would be nice.

For now I have my fat photos to give me some motivation. Shame I didn't pull them out at the restaurant....

Xxx Cat

So I believe I may have become a victim of my own convenience.

Little One has never been the best sleeper. However after a number of weeks we were getting a rough 4-3-2 hour pattern from 10pm with 10 minute feeds. Not too bad.

Yet I was so sick of hearing how other bubbas of the same age were sleeping through the night and having 2hour maps during the day IN A COT...SO sick of hearing whether one should have a coffee or scrapbook with their spare time...so sick of it that I think I felt more tired and run down than I actually was.

And here began the cycle. Rather than leaping out of bed with bountiful bosom bared ready for action, I started the journey of roll, flop, feed. That is, roll over, flop the boosie out, feed the whimpering one and go back to sleep - sometimes during the process.

So then it happened that if I fed her, THEN put her down she would wake and thrash and scream and noone would get sleep. So for the sake of daddy-who-works-6-days-a-week I would rollflopfeed. Soon it seemed she wouldn't sleep at night without a boob in the mouth.

Sounds extreme? Think I'm exaggerating? Try waking up at 3am with a wet t-shirt - not because your boosies are leaking, but because a 2 month old has attached itself to your chest in the hope it can suck something out through the fibres. Oh yes, we co-sleep. Another thing pre-natal me said she would never do...but that's another post...

So here we are. With a wet t-shirt and waking every hour and a half to two hours. I think it's my own fault, but lordy it's hard to convince a 10 week old otherwise when you're too flippin tired to argue the point...and so the vicious cycle...

Rather, it feels more like a competition of who will crack first - mum or bub. Let me tell you I have LOSER written across my forehead.

1) Have a packing list - organise your bags well before your due date. This gives you something to do whilst in labour (like checking your things will take your mind off the stabbing sensation in your pelvis) and enables you to feel in control - as lets face it - a heavy nappy bag could easily double as a weapon.

The wonderful thing about my bag packing effort was that I split things up into multiple bags and labelled them feeling like supermum already - 'labour', 'for baby', 'after labour' (in case 'postnatal' got lost in translation during the mayhem) and 'extra supplies'. That last one I was most proud if because it was evidence that I was prepared for anything. Until my support crew left the lot in the car anyway and my newborn ended up with a folded vest on her head because she didn't have a cap to keep her warm in the first few hours of her life. Already midwives were casting scornful 'negligent parent' looks at the one who didn't pack their winter baby any clothes.

2) Prepare meals in advance - You will appreciate having pre-prepared meals once your new little bundle comes along - let's face it - it'll save your marriage - although you might be more than happy with toasted cheese sandwiches and cup-a-soup, your significant other may start to feel neglected.

You will also need back up in case of well wishers who volunteer to drop off a meal and then turn up with some vegetarian dish that would see any meat-loving male packing their bags and running screaming for the hills. (Just kidding, Amy....we loved it...really. Mung beans are my favourite)

3) Keep your petrol tank full - So that might sound like a given but you'll be wishing you listened when your driver has to pull in to a service station with your legs sprawled apart on the dashboard. Mind you it's also a certain way to jump the queue...

4) Have a back up plan - babies are seldom considerate so forget convenience. If there is ever a moment not to be born you can guarantee it will come then. However this wasn't our case. Our little one chose Daddy's day off. How thoughtful.

This one also applies to birth plans. You know those things they get you to write while you were in a right frame of mind so when you get to the other side you can mock the pre-labour you..."no drugs? Oh good luck honey. You try telling yourself its all mind over matter..."

Stay tuned for another installment. If I ever get around to it that is...

So the plan was to have a beautiful, graceful drug-free hypnobirth and come out the other side 3 days later with make up intact, cleaning done, baby sleeping and a tea in hand whilst typing away about how wonderful motherhood is.

Instead I was cut open after a plethora of pain relievers, opted for early discharge after 4 days because my 'roomie's' Big Fat Egyptian Family came to stay in and out of visiting hours, and set out on a 6 week recovery, crying bub attached to bleeding nipples, dreaming of a shower whilst my hubby did the house work.

I've installed a Blogging app on my phone. With a bit of luck I can provide a chuckle with my good old friend 'autocorrect'.

Okay so maybe I'm being a little dramatic. I wasn't *that* naive, however I also wasn't *that* prepared for what was in store either.

This little thing cries at me, pukes on me, poos on me, keeps me awake at night, is the reason for my oily hair, daggy trackies, stretchmarks and floppy belly...but she melts my heart. With one gaze, goo or gassy smile she has me in pieces. And I wasn't prepared for that.