Cat-astrophes

3 days to go!!

Holidays are nearing and school is winding up. I've been stripping my classroom bare and getting ready to start all over again.

My body cannot wait to relax! The stress-factor is trying to continue regardless of the fact I'm refusing to 'take work home' - that includes the emotional side of work too. As soon as that bell goes, I'm no longer 'miss' and I really couldn't care less about what Ali did to Ahmad and how little Mohammad's mum is angry at Moustafa and wants to make a formal complaint to get him expelled from the school......

I might not take the emotional frustration home, but it is amazing how it can still make a physical impact. Even now I have droopy eyelids, and if it wasn't for the fact that it is nearing 5:30 and time to cook dinner I would be more than happy to head for bed.

Anyway - what lays before me is 3 days of near-babysitting. I have finished my program for the year, it's a cinema-day tomorrow and reports go home so most students don't turn up after that...so Wednesday and Thursday will consist of keeping students entertained whilst other teachers get to moving their classes in preparation for the new year.

...and crossing fingers for lots of chocolatey Christmas presents this year! Though being a predominantly muslim-populated school, things tend to be a bit low in the Chrissy pressie stakes...

xxx

Have you ever noticed that it is the companies that take the largest amounts of your money that give you the worst service? Or maybe it is just me.

Am I the only one who sits on hold thinking 'you're about to take $545 of mine so answer the rotten phone!!'. For this reason I like to support small businesses (if it's not going to be a risk - ie insurance). However then you have a problem if you try to call to tell them you want to spend $300 but they don't answer the phone...and they have no form of answering service.

In other words you end up wasting an hour of your life calling, waiting, calling, waiting, calling....etc

Or maybe I am just how my post title suggests.

xxx

2 weeks and one day!

Still tired...which is to be expected, however my latest challenge is trying to fit in 'other stuff' in those few waking moments not spent cooking, eating, showering or working.

Trying to think about and co-ordinate 5 seperate entertaining events up and coming over the next fortnight is turning out to be almost impossible!

Anyway - in my quest to try to make things easier and more time-efficient I turned to the cyber-world and became mesmerised by the image on the Bathers' Pavillion website. So much so infact that I have been staring at it for quite some while. It is rather soothing to watch when your eyes just want to close...

The bad thing is I have now wasted some of this precious time staring and accomplished nothing - except a blog entry I never intended to write...

xxx

Around this time last year I started having dizzy spells, blacking out and I was just thoroughly exhausted. I went through a series of blood tests, they found a few things, slapped on the label 'chronic fatigue' and gave me a list of lifestyle changes.

I have been pretty good at keeping them and I have to admit this year has been a little easier - a little. I still have my moments when all I want to do is curl up and sleep for a week...but overall it has been okay.

Then came the dizzy spells again.

Friday I collapsed at work. Thankfully not in front of the kiddies - when I knew I was on my way out I went to the back of the room and stuck my head into my colleagues room and managed to get out 'can you watch them' before getting out of my room and falling.

So my amazing man came and picked me up from school and I slept the rest of the day. In fact, most of my weekend was sleeping.

Monday came around and I was ready to take on the world...or at least the school. By 9 o'clock however I was already feeling a little tired. By 11 o'clock I was quite lethargic. By 1 o'clock I was downright sleepy and by 3pm it was all I could do to try and get home fast enough before I knew I was going to sleep at the wheel.

So I'm back to square 1. Sleep, work, sleep, eat, sleep.

Only 2 weeks and 3 school days left to the end....If only I can stay awake enough until then...

xxx

A stormy Monday...

Storms are marvelous...I love them...however kids don't seem to like them so much.

So on days like today, a room full of six and seven year-olds becomes a high-pitched nightmare.

"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!"
"miiiiiiiiiisssss!!!! I'm scaaaaaaaaaaaared!!!"

What's more, a lot of these students are refugees and are quite nervous individuals as it is without including loud explosive noises into the equation...if you get my drift....

To top it all off, one of these nervous individuals was receiving a prize at a big assembly in the midst of this storm, and whilst standing on stage infront of the whole school during what should've been a happy moment, her poor nervous bladder gave up. The embarassment turned out to be too much also, so she proceeded to bite her lip....

...until her tooth went straight through her lip. The shock made her freeze.

So aside from controlling a class of 20-something little hyperactive storm-crazed monkeys I had to literally drag a terrified, wet, bleeding 6 year old from the stage.

I won't talk about the row of kindy kids that freaked out at the sight of blood...

So yeah, it's just been another typical Monday.

xxx

PS - the title is in tribute to Saturday night's U2 concert...just dandy. (I've been wanting to use that word all day)

xxx

So I've been having computer issues...and I've had better things to do than fix them. So it is only now that I have had the time to get around to rectifying all those little bugs.

However in order to do so I had to wipe the whole machine and start from scratch. Even though I laborously sorted through files, deleted, saved, deleted, burnt....it amazes me how many 'things' I've still lost.

Tax files being one of them....oops...........

I'm sure I've backed it all up somewhere...right?

xxx

So it seemed like the battle was over. Mr Handyman drove off in his little white van leaving behind more spikes (sadly no big red eye...) and the stupid birds sat on my balcony coo-coo-cooing and wondering what to do.

I threw a cushion at the window and that gave them something to do for the brief moment...

I was happy. Man triumphed over pidgeon.

I celebrated with an iced tea, and sat back on my comfy lounge.

Then I heard it.

tap tap tap tap tap....tappity tappity....cooo? tap tap tap

You have to be kidding.

Mr handyman spiked a pidgeon in the roof!!

That was obviously a few days ago. The tapping has since stopped - so whether someone called someone to come and rescue the crazy bird, or whether I should be expecting a fowl (pun intended) smell soon....I don't quite know....

And here I thought the whole pidgeon-ordeal was over...

xxx

My ongoing battle with pidgeons in the roof is continuing. Though this time there is one *big* bird up there...

Strata must've finally called someone in to get rid of the birds...however it doesn't sound like they are too fazed by his presence.

I can hear 'bang bang bang bang' as Mr Pidgeon-Man crawls across one side of the roof and 'patter patter patter patter' as StupidPidgeon walks over to the other side. This has been happening for the last 15 minutes.

Bang bang bang bang shuffle bang

patter patter patter patter patter "cooooo"

There was silence for awhile until 'crrrack'...a massive ladder landed right outside my window (glass intact). It is rather uncomfortable when there is a handyman leaning on your 3rd story window and you have no place to go...do you hide, smile and wave, completely ignore or open up the window and offer milk and cookies?

It has now been silent for 10 minutes...I'm wondering who has won. Maybe Mr Pidgeon Man brought one of those big red eyes!

xxx

So the waters have dried up, the carpet has been deoderised* and furniture has been returned.

I include a little asterisk (*) because all though the carpet has been deoderised, a putrid stench still remains. Smells are one thing I don't deal with. Everything must smell good. I have air fresheners everywhere - 2 in the bathroom, one in each room, one in the car, closet, garage, classroom...so soggy old brown carpet smell does not make peace with me at all.

Yesterday I mentioned burning incense.

I've also made a staggering discovery. Copious amounts of incense not only clears the sinuses, but irritates eyes and brings on lightheadedness and dizzy spells. SO...I conclude that the happy hippy generation weren't really high on suspicious substances...it was really all to do with the incense.

Now excuse me whilst I tie-dye my underwear.

xxx

You know when you have those 'feelings' that something isn't quite right? Well, I had one of those 'feelings' yesterday when I was out getting a hair cut. My stomach started getting butterflies...then there was that sinking feeling as I remembered my washing.

I had left the machine on as I left...which I do often...though this time I was getting butterflies.

As my head was getting massaged during the whole shampoo-ing process all I could think of was my washing...and a puddle. I could visualise water all over the floor.

The hair-dresser made friendly chit-chat...how's work? What have you been doing with your holidays? etc etc....all I could think of was water trickling onto the floor and into the laundry cupboard, saturating the washing powder inside for the 7th time.

I met up with a friend for lunch afterwards...again...washing washing washing washing....

I went home and straight to the laundry...I got to the kitchen, and fair enough - a puddle.

Gut-feeling is correct once again. Sighing, and rather calmly I set down the shopping, arranged my newest lillies in a vase and decided to make a trip to the bathroom before mopping up the laundry/kitchen floor.

I kicked off my shoes, walked into the loungeroom and....squelch.

I froze.

My eyes fell to the floor to see my feet sitting cozily in about a centimetre of water. Oh no...my toes felt around to see how far the water reached...I moved the couch...more water...I moved the corner chair...more water...Oh no....I moved the other couch... more water!! In fact, water covered a quarter of my oversized loungeroom floor.

Immediately I grabbed a towel and threw it on the floor...and immediately picked it up again when my beautiful white towel started to soak up ugly brown water!! Stoopid rental apartment carpet...of course I had nothing else to mop up the mess with except a hand towel and a tea towel. So I set to it with a bucket, and this is how Mr Man found me - standing in a puddle with my jeans rolled up to my knees wringing coffee-brown water into a bucket.

So now it is 24 hours since the whole ordeal. The floor is still damp, but at least no longer provides a habitat for duckies and what-not...I have every window open and the house stinks. I have burnt so much insense I now have an urge to sit cross legged and say 'Ohm'. In fact the smell is so bad my teenage brother (might I remind you what the potencey of the smells of a teenage boy potentially could be) said "Do me a favour and don't invite me over - next time you're visiting us".

How depressing.

Amusing...but depressing...

xxx

There is nothing quite like a few slices of pumpernickel in the morning. It's almost like compacted bread - it takes up less room, but may even be more filling...

Usually I couple a slice of pumpernickel with a range of toppings - my favourite is cranberry sauce, baby spinach, turkey and Camembert cheese. Another is the simple but classic cream cheese & smoked salmon...but I only ever eat it as an open sandwich.

Today I decided to walk on the wild side and make a closed sandwich with the little dark rye bread...(yep, holidays must be in full swing when sandwich making becomes exciting...)

Pumpernickel is not so good for this purpose...the squeeze-factor involved when eating a sandwich puts too much stress on the bread for it to remain intact...and the result is many many pieces of squishy rye all over my floor.

Many pieces.

Many squishy pieces.

This brings me to a new dilemma.
Food sometimes scares me...emetophobia is a fear of vomiting...not only do I fear it, but there are a stack of things I 'can't do' because of it. Now over the years I have improved a little - I can now drink orange juice again - still can't even think about drinking apple juice. I can't eat fruit more than 4 days after I have bought it, nor consume food that has been made/cooked after the second day. Silly, I know...but I guess that's the nature of it - it's irrational.

What does this have to do with pumpernickel?

One of my little 'quirks' involves picking up food off the ground. I will do it, because obviously it needs to be done, but I start to get anxious...I don't know how my head seems to think that picking up dropped food is going to make me sick...it's not like I'm licking the floor...

Hmmm...anyway, so after cleaning up after breakfast I had to go lie down from emotional exhaustion.

I think I need to get out of the house...

xxx

Not something I thought I would ever be blogging about...but I had the *best* guacamole ever last night!

In fact, this guacamole was so good I couldn't sleep because I was thinking about it so much.

It was there still in my mind when I woke...and even now that I have just eaten breakfast it's all I can do to stop thinking about it still...

I've craved many things before, but I think this is the first time I have craved guacamole...

I'm even having issues typing....if I close my eyes I can still remember the taste....mmmm....

...excuse me...

xxx

My cupboards were bare and my stomach grumbled in protest of not being fed. Pasta sauce and cereal didn't sound appetising so I ventured off to the shops for groceries.

What I didn't know was that the shopping centre was being rennovated. There was no way of actually getting from the carpark into the centre aside from a temporary service lift.

Yes, you read me right - a temporary lift. I'm sorry but elevators should not be temporary!!

I stood inside with 5 others wondering how stable this thing actually is when it suddenly shuddered to life. The jolt was enough to give some unsuspecting person whiplash - so I did what any girl would do. I squeeled.

A few people giggled. "You'll get used to it, dear" an ederly lady comforted me. I don't want to get used to it!!

The stop was just as rough and coupled with a big 'BOOOM!'. I stumbled out and fell to my knees, kissing the ground...

...okay, I didn't do that, but I have never been so excited to get out of an elevator before (except maybe the time the one in my old building broke down between floors).

I took my time shopping - I was certainly in no hurry to return to that glorified laundry chute. However, it wasn't until I was standing infront of it again that I realised that this was the 'going down' part...I could very well plummet to my death here...I was interupted by some loud booming noises - boom boom boom boom boom boom...for a moment I couldn't work out whether it was the lift or my heart...

The door opened, and this time I held on...

Yet, even though I braced myself I couldn't help the scream that escaped...

"YAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAGH!!"

Can I just say that free-fall rides at amusement parks now seem like see-saws in comparison?

Who needs bungee-jumping when you can go elevator diving?

xxx

Have I mentioned that I'm on holidays yet???

Holidays bring with it good and bad habits. Good habits include more exercise, relaxation, quality time with loved ones, reading books, long walks along the beach at sunset and other exciting things...

Bad habits include sleeping in (okay, my idea of a sleep in is to 7:30am, but it's still a sleep in!), staying in pjs until 9 (again, not late to some, but late for me!) and...my personal favourite...a chocolate breakfast!

This kind of cancels out the exercise-factor...but hey, it's worth it.

Currently I'm working on a Ferrero Rocher. This presents seme implications for my chocolate-philosophy. Generally I believe chocolate quanitities should always be maximised in food. Additives such as nuts, minty bits, gooey stuff etc should only ever add to the experience and never take away from valuable chocolate space. There are very few things that do this successfully. Usually I would be a little miffed at the high quantities of nuts and wafer...however Rocher seem to make a perfect balance with rich 'good' chocolate, unlike all of those other compoundy substances most commonly found.

Though I'm not here to talk Ferrero Rochers....I'm here to talk about what is next on the menu. Toblerone. Now once again, I'm not the greatest fan of this chocolatey treat as although the nougat and nuts add to the experience, I would much rather spend my money on Lindt and have a divine chocolate experience.

But I'm getting distracted. What makes this particular Toblerone special is that what it lacks in ratio of chocolate quantity, it makes up in quantity! One of the lovely girls in my class won a 4.5 kilogram bar of Toblerone....and she gave her favourite teacher a piece! Though this is no ordinary piece...this is a slab. In fact, I am still pondering how on earth to eat the thing...

Usually with Toblerone I will break off a single piece and put the entire thing in my mouth until it melts away and I'm left with a chewy mass of nougat.

But as you can see the whole thing doesn't even fit in my hand, let alone in my mouth... so, another chocolate-eating dilemma. Logic says 'break it'. My mouth says 'bite it'. My eyes provide a greater problem - aesthetics. Breaking it or biting it would take away from its smooth triangular form....so all of this becomes too much of an effort and I know I'm only going to do what I have been doing with it for the past week now - put it back in the fridge and eat another Forrero Rocher instead.

xxx

So it has been brought to my attention that I am indeed 'not the only one' as I was made out to feel (see previous post).

In the Chocolate Review post, Tim claims that there is no 'right' way to eat a Freddo...and proceeds to list 3 variations. The second one is applicable to me...

2) Start at his feet and eat upwards, as if he is 'sinking' into your mouth, at the same time, imagining his froggy cries of anguish as he disappears down your throat. Make him 'cry' before he 'croaks'!

...However again I would like to point out that although it alludes to some sort of sadistic chocolate habit it isn't so!

PS. I'm on HOLIDAYS!!!!!

xxx

Recently I was in the staffroom eating a Freddo whilst working on a writing program for next term unaware that I was being studied by a colleague.

After a few minutes I'd finished the chocolate and she spoke up -

"So have you always eaten Freddo Frogs backwards?"
"excuse me?"
"You ate it backwards - feet first...have you always done that?"
"Well, yes actually...though I wasn't aware that there was a particular way to eat them..."
"Is that some sort of sadistic tendency where you want your victim to be conscious until the very end?"
"WHAAAAAAT????"

Determined to prove that I wasn't the only one, I proceeded to question everyone that came within the room. Apparently everyone eats Freddos head first.

So suddenly I was forced to examine the 'why' behind my eating habits of a chocolate...did they mask some darker desire, or did I simply have a foot fetish? Maybe it was simply a coincidence that every time I opened up one of the smiley-faced chocolates I just happened to eat it feet-first.

But....alas....there is actually a reason.

When I was much younger I recieved 20 cents pocket money weekly. Freddos, back in those days, were worth 10 cents. Being the budding chocoholic, I couldn't resist (I used to go by the philosophy of spend half, save half) however being my weeks worth of chocolate, I would try to make it last as long as possible...

Day 1 - buy the little frog. That was excitement enough at 8.
Day 2 - eat his feet.
Day 3 - nibble up to his first hand.
Day 4 - eat up to his second hand.
Day 5 - eat the hand, and leave the head.
Day 6 - my favourite day - the head!
Day 7 - anticipate pocket money day....

And the reason why I didn't go back the other way was because I would save the greatest quantity to last...

So sorry, no cannibalistic traits or any other weirdness aside from habits formed by a young obsessive compulsive 8 year old.

xxx

I've barely had time to sneeze lately...which is actually a bit of an exaggeration because I have been sneezing quite a lot lately...

I've been thinking a lot about the concept of time and priorities. Somebody asked me recently to help out with something and it 'only takes a commitment of 2 nights per week'. I tried to explain that I simply couldn't do that.

'Well, what do you do?"

I found it hard to think on my feet - what do I do? Let's have a look at the week ahead for example:

Monday - work 6:30-3:30, visit parents/aunt/uncle 4-5:30, salsa 6-9, sleep 10pm
Tuesday - work 6:30-8pm, 9pm sleep (not looking forward to this day!)
Wednesday - work 6:30 - 5:30, staff dinner 7-who knows whenpm
Thursday - work 6:30-4:30, dinner with friend 5pm-late
Friday - work 6:30 - 5 , celebrate holidays 5pm onwards!!!!

And don't even suggest my weekends are lazy...church, cleaning, and time with two of my favourite people don't leave much time left to pee. But again, this is an exageration because again, I pee numerous times on a weekend...

The thing is that this is a very stereotypical week - usually I am lucky to have a night to myself in the week...

...and this is where I started thinking priorities. As much as I'd love to try, work is not going to budge. As for main priorities - here lies family, the man and closest friends. After these comes salsa (only form of fitness at the moment!) and closer friends. Time that is left over (which is generally minimal) is still up for grabs but people who know me generally know I need notice.

I tried to organise a coffee with a colleague earlier this month and she threw up her hands in exasperation when I asked 'how's October for you?'.

I kindly explained to the person who had made this 'extra-commitment' offer that at this point in my life it wasn't going to happen. When I become a hermit and only have school to bother with, then I'll gladly take up something else - but for now I need that balance to keep from going insane.

And time for myself? Well, I'm sure if I book in early enough with my secretary I might get some...

xxx

Have you ever come across a sight that brought you to tears? Maybe because it was so sad, maybe because it was so beautiful. I find that images move me easily...maybe its because I"m more visual than anything else. Still images can move me, and film even more so...for this reason I hate war movies...I can't emotionally deal with them - I bawled from the beginning to the end of Saving Private Ryan...and Black Hawk Down...not to mention countless others.

Lately though I've been bombarded with a flood of beautiful words. Words that have just pierced my heart and brought me to a mushy mess. I mean people have said lovely things to me before that made me become overwhelmed with emotion, but these are words that are just so touchingly breathtaking that they leave me misty and speechless.

So this is where I write examples, right?

Actually, no...the most beautiful thing about words is, like an improvised song, the note is sounded and then it melts away. The extent of its beauty seems to only exist not only in the essence of its sound and its meaning, but in its timing, context and delivery.

I can't do a song like that justice on a blog.

So I say go and collect the music for yourself.

xxx

You know those 250g bags of m&ms with 'tear n share' scrawled across the side? You're supposed to tear the whole length of the bag so that it is easier for people to dig in.

Well...I only tear the corner. And I don't share them.

*phew* I feel so much better now for admitting that.

xxx