Cat-astrophes

There are pidgeons in my roof.

They are driving me insane.

Firstly - they do not belong in my roof. They are free-loading. Last time I checked they were not contributing to the rent. I've tried posting little eviction notices, but apparently they don't understand English.

Secondly - they are noisy. Their constant coo-coo (and not cute-dovey coo-iness either...this is that low gutteral old-man-clearing-the-flem-out-of-his-throat kind of coo) is bad enough without them scuffling from one side of my ceiling to the other.

Lastly - and this is probably what erks me the most is that they are dirty. Disgusting piles of playdough...I'm paranoid about what germs they might be bringing in with them...potential bird-lice hazzard....they are probably the reason why I spent almost 4 days in bed! Bird flu! ARGH!!!!

There was a time I found them amusing...and on occasion I still do....when they aren't in my roof! Stupid animals....

The most frustrating thing is...I don't own my roof, and neither does my landlord - it's a strata issue. And do strata care? No they do not. Strata cared about bird poo on window sills enough to put pigeon spikes around the building - but this is what caused the rotten things to move in my roof in the first place!!! Unless the birds start deficating around the roof, there is nothing to be done.

So if someone can tell me how to get rid of birds without causing them to die and rot in my roof, please tell me! I will be eternally grateful. I just know that they are scheming in there...This means war...


xxx