Cat-astrophes

So it has been a whirlwind of a month. Between Darling Hubby being admitted to hospital and a few days after being released my beautiful mother in law taking a graceful exit off stage it has been draining to say the least. DH made the difficult decision to fly alone to the other side of the planet to be with his family leaving his 35 week preggers wife at home. Mind you - I'm the main culprit for pushing him to go, he was really torn - wanting to be in two places at once. I assured him I have a whole host of support people around to look after me and I'd be fine. Really.

Well that is really quite true - friends and family have done a brilliant job of keeping me busy during this time, but truth of the matter is that come bed time I'm still left all alone in that big bed in an empty house.

Sleeping with the door shut gives me some sort of illusion of security, however I have discovered that this is completely useless if I rather stupidly decide to watch television shows on serial killers and homicides before going to bed.

Whose idea was that?

What's worse is I 'experimented'* with Dexter. A show I've never had any interest in watching - when they market a show with a man with creepy eyes and blood and then shove a cute baby in the shot?? It just seems too twisted for my liking.

Well it stayed on and I submitted a few things on ebay whilst watching the show and yet 'not watching'. Big mistake. (How can they make the main 'hero' of a show so detestable and disturbing and all the while present them as the 'good guy'? Makes a mess of my mind...). While I was cleaning up and brushing my teeth, there was some show about homicide detectives and understanding the mind of a psychopath and how they are lead to target seemingly 'random' innocent people.

By the time I got to bed, closing the door seemed pointless.

I could hear creaking. DEXTER IS IN MY HOUSE!!!!!

Or is that the house settling as the cold night air sets in? Ah okay, however that doesn't comfort me WHEN THERE IS A PSYCHOPATH ON MY VARANDAH!!!

Or is that the rabbit? Yep. It's the rabbit. In fact - that rabbit and his faithful sidekicks (the guinea pigs) have a lot to answer for in terms of lost sleep last night. Every little noise they made convinced me that there was someone outside waiting in the shadows for the opportune moment to make headlines that would reach all the way to DH on the other side of the world -

What a way to go. So there is a lesson to be learnt from all of this, kiddies. When mum says not to watch scary things before bed, there is good reason for it.

*experimenting with tv - I find I do this when home alone. The noise of the tv gives some sort of comfort - so I'll have the tv on, switch to the least boring program and then do something else. The tv remains on but I'm not really watching. This is great for discovering programs that one probably wouldn't otherwise watch - however apparently not so great for sending distasteful subliminal messages...

xxx

Never blog about aiming to write regular entries. It's a proclamation inviting failure.

Well, I've learnt my lesson, so this is the blog entry declaring that I will, on no accounts, be blogging on a regular basis.

In fact, I would not even be writing today if it wasn't for an old friend on Facebook who has started her journey in blogging (mind you, I believe that is long overdue - she is the type of person whose words are wasted locked up in that head of hers - even her Facebook status updates are witty, meaningful, inspirational or all of the above) which then lead me to find other friends who are all blogging (either closet bloggers or not)...which then lead to the 'oh gee, I wish I had a blog', which lead to the 'oh darn it, I do'.

Okay, so my ramblings may not be anywhere near as exciting, inspirational, witty or awe-inspiring...but at least it's cathartic.

On a side note - I'm listening to the gestational period of Tasmanian Devils (don't ask). 25 days! Goodness me, that's the amount of days I have LEFT to go. How on earth does a she-devil have the time to not only *find out* that she is pregnant, but then set up a nursery, prepare herself emotionally, attend ante-natal classes, re-prepare herself emotionally after being scarred by said classes, pack her little labour bags, wash copious amounts of baby-devil blankets and jumpsuits, catch up with all the other she-devils before her capacity to gallivant child-free is thwarted in just 25 days?! I tip my hat to you, little devil. But I'm still spending my 25 days on the couch.

Time for an illustration of a couch session:

I believe the Darling Little Bump had the hiccups, but was determined to kick them out. I was feeling a rhythmic little 'hic' amongst octopus limbs flailing all over the place.

Darling Hubby recently tried making contact by prodding my stomach three times. There was a prompt response of three little prods back. So of course DH repeated his prods - faster this time. DLB responded. This went on for a couple of minutes until the novelty wore off for DH. Apparently DLB has a longer attention span - she tried a few more times before giving up with an almighty KICK as if chucking a little in utero tantrum.

Now she is once again reminding me that it is in fact breakfast time. So, will I write soon? Probably not, but you never know.

xxx

I'm not one for New Years Resolutions. Partly because I feel that whatever I set forth with writing down attached to good intentions and excitement that 'this year will really be different', comes crashing down by February and I'm left with tatters of guilt and remorse that once again I 'stuffed this year'. I got a little sick of writing off years before they were through, getting to October or November and wishing the last months away in the hope that the resolutions for the New Year will make the next 12 months so much better...

Does that mean I don't have goals? No. Nor does it mean there aren't things I set about to change (and often). I just don't call them New Years Resolutions. The good thing about this is when I do get a bit lazy or a goal doesn't quite go to plan, I don't feel like that's it for this year - and better wait until January before trying again.

I guess one benefit of having Resolutions at that New Year period is that there is an expectation to have thought things through - so you do. When it becomes a Whole Year Resolution it comes down to discipline to stop, think and apply yourself to change. It could become a whole resolution in and of itself.

I guess blogging on a more frequent basis has become one of my Whole Year Resolutions. How long it will last? Who knows. I have a pretty bad track record...however I'll give it a shot for now. Maybe it is only achievable because I'm on holidays (for 4 more days!!! ARGH). Maybe because I have something terrible deep, meaningful and important to say to the world (HA). Still, when I start to lack the time, or when life becomes sleep-work-eat-repeat once again and there isn't much to talk about, I won't feel so guilty and blow every other resolution out of the water until next year...

What are my others? Well, Many I'm sure I'll make up along the way this year...but I know that some involve this new season of parenthood fast approaching (I can't say/write that word anymore without thinking about the show...) both in preparation, adaptation and then evolving to the journey along the way. Some definitely involve health. Okay so the Magnums aren't a picture of a healthy person, however once my blood pressure is back to normal and I'm allowed to do 'normal' movements again, it will be my goal to get back in shape as soon as possible.

Hmmm...does that resolution *ever* succeed? New Years or not?


xxx

I think this post is best said in pictures...







xxx

I cannot believe it.

I almost ashamed to write it.

In fact, you can consider this a confession.

I am sitting infront of the tv with netbook in hand. (No, that's not the confession) What horrible little secret am I indulging in?

The tennis.

Please don't tell anyone. Tennis has been one of those sports I've relished mocking others for watching. I've always put it in the same category as golf and cricket. The sports that have always appeared beyond boring for anyone not actually on the court, or field, or course...

Please...a little yellow ball popping from one side of a net to the other? For five hours???

And yet, here I am. Watching Tomic play Lopez...so far it's 7-6 7-6 and I'm almost ashamed to say I'm excited.

Actually maybe the excitement is more due to the Magnum Temptation that's coming my way...
however that still doesn't explain the last few weeks. In my defense I must admit that with Darling Hubby monopolising the remote, there isn't too many other options. I must also state that I have been taken some rather enjoyable naps during crazy long matches - waking up only for the score and to shift my belly into a more comfortable position. I must say the 'thock, thock, thock' can be quite calming...

Still, my point is to never to say never.

Who would've thought I'd be watching tennis in my holidays? Certainly not I.


xxx

Yes, I'm aware of the time that has passed.

A lot of things can happen in a year...

...even more can happen in two!

First I would like to introduce the bump growing in my middle. She looks pretty cosy and quiet in there, right? Well let me assure you when that picture was taken she was flailing around putting up a right fight against the sonographer.

She's apparently a headstrong little bump who has no problems standing up for herself. Last week when the doctor started poking and prodding to feel where everything was, there was a swift sharp kick from the inside - giving that doctor 'what for' for interrupting the morning nap.

What has amazed me most is not necessarily the ultrasound pictures or the increasingly growing waistline...but with the sound of that heartbeat it made me realise that there is actually a little person in there. Complete with eyes, ears that can hear and already with reactions to the outside world...'someone' is in there.

It blows me away...

I used to adore (and still do) Psalm 139 - and loved verse 13 - the thought that God knew us before anyone else did. I haven't thought about that verse deeply in about 10 years...but again I find it right before me - I haven't met this little person yet, but already she is fearfully and wonderfully made...complete with a hope for the future.

...right now I think she is complete with a 'kick-button' telling me breakfast is overdue...


xxx

Once someone asked me what my muse was in an artistic sense.

I had never thought of it before then...being a young and naive thing (not like the old and wise thing I am now.......) but after a quick thought realised that it was music.

Music is something I LOVE...but to me it is like Spanish actually. (I've always used the analogy of another language...but now Spanish just fits perfectly).

I love the way it sounds. I love listening to it and marvel how people can make it sound so good. I desire to speak it...and I try...but it's not my native tongue. The words *do* come out...but stilted, with mistakes and with not nearly as much passion to do it justice.

Music to me is just like that. It moves me no end...and I've dabbled in a whole manner of different instruments - some I can pull off a little better than others, but at the end of the day I leave it to the musos.

However...every art work I have ever painted has always been to music.

It has been over a year since I last painted - like REALLY painted. Not the house, or a little craft project...I'm talking about canvas, easel and a whole lot of mess. I wondered where my inspiration went...

...then it hit me...

My 'music time' had become 'podcast time'.

Oh yes I have learnt a fair bit over the last year...but the brushes are dry...

So I made room for some music.

First there was nothing. It was kind of like revisiting old friends - 'oh I remember you'. Different songs suddenly took me back to different points in the journey. 'Fake Plastic Trees' was travelling away from the city on a winter's evening. 'Little Plastic Castle' was lying on the grass at uni. 'One of Our Dholaks is Missing' was fire twirling. 'Besame' was dancing with hubby for the first time (without hitting him)....you get the picture.

But no art.

So I took the headphones out, and went back to my book instead.

As interesting as James' theory on emotions was I just couldn't focus.

Next thing you know, Radiohead's 'Stop Whispering' was in my head. But instead of 'stop whispering' I was singing 'stop listening'. Then came the itch....

...and the paint flowed.

Radiohead did it again.



xxx

Soooo...

The silence is becoming more of the usual rather than the rarity.

Partly because I have had too much to do.

Partly because not much of it has been that blog-worthy (unless of course you are just as excited as me about vegie plants getting their first blossoms...)

Partly (and mostly) because I forgot my password.

Passwords...they tend to be the evil necessity to someone who has a remarkably terrible memory. In fact, that's another issue altogether...is the memory really as bad as thought?

Every memory test I carried out during psych came out saying I had a fantastic memory - above average etc etc. Anyone who knows me however, would say the exact opposite. Apparently I have a knack for remembering things that aren't really worthwhile remembering. More to the point...it may seem I glide through life in a way that I don't concentrate enough to put anything to memory in the first place...

Not something I'm very proud of. Don't get me wrong...I enjoy things very much...and I make a point to stop and enjoy things...it just seems I don't stop - enjoy - commit to memory very well.

Back to the password issue. An evil necessity. Oh sure...we need passwords. Especially when bit by bit everyday events start to revolve around the convenience of a laptop. I also believe that passwords 'should' be somewhat cryptic for security's sake.

Cryptic and la memoria de la Cat don't tend to go very well together.

So I have now changed my password *again* and hopefully this time I'll remember and another post will appear here in due time.

If the silence returns, you can probably at least guess for yourself what has happened.

In the meantime, I will continue to be a living example of Pavlov's dog - the washing machine just went 'click' which means its time to hang out the clothes...

...not sure why I'm drooling though...

POST SCRIPT

Would you believe after I posted this I actually realised I had forgotten to include a title. No drama...but point proven.

...what point? Hmm...not sure actually. Something about memory.

xxx

You know those tv lifestyle shows? They make renovations seem so easy! Obviously it is not at all like that...they just want to make you think you can make-over your kitchen in 10 minutes with makeup and hair intact...

Obviously we all know that it is easier shown during a half hour prime time slot than done.

It's also a lot easier to get someone else to do it.

Though of course we like to do things ourselves.

First, let me introduce you to 'the kitchen'.

I first met 'the kitchen' a little less than a year ago when we were two newly weds looking for a place to call our own. We found the perfect spot....but when I stepped inside the first thing that caught my eye was a 30 year old mustard and olive green kitchen. Okay so maybe I make it sound worse than it is...

Please keep in mind that the photo doesn't capture olive the green ceiling...

And then there is the new kitchen:

Okay, little problem...it's in pieces.

Oh yes, and it's in my dining room/lounge room...

So where do we start? Well I guess we rip out the first one? Shouldn't be too hard, they make it look like fun on tv. All we need is a mallet...

...Okay we don't have one of those. A hammer, a jigsaw and an electric drill will do it...

Can I please remind you that *that* green was on the ceiling? ALL over the ceiling...


xxx

All was quiet in net-land...

until.....

the fight


xxx

I'm alive...

I'm breathing...

I'm happy...

I've busied myself with other projects...

I may be back...

But for now, I'm pausing and thinking


xxx

So yesterday some of my lovely female friends braved the weather and celebrated with me for a bridal shower.

I must admit the thing I was looking forward to most was just hanging out with some of my favourite faces and having a good laugh.

But I ended up also being blown away by the generosity of these beautiful people! Rather than showering me with gifts, they made contributions to our honeymoon. Collectively they raised enough money to cover our meals for the week!

That was one of our headaches...paying off the wedding and honeymoon bit by bit is one thing...but then there are the costs the other side of the date! So now, thanks to these lovely people...we'll have food!!!

Much laughter was had also...some interesting veil designs produced (and me being the most indecisive person ever couldn't choose the winning piece), some lovely portraits with some interesting bits of advice for marriage life...

It really was a great afternoon...and lots of memories to keep :)


xxx

Oh my...what a fortnight.

The next person who says that teaching is an easy profession is going to find some sort of implement lodged between their eyeballs.

I love it, I do...but let me give you a run down of the past two weeks:

1. Tuesday - Newsletter report due: create a three page report on what the class has learnt this year, experiences, quotes etc and add cute photos...
2. Wednesday - program due (anyone who knows a teacher will know that creating/submitting your program is a BIG stressful ordeal)
3. Thursday - Observation of colleague: Set work for the Deputy Principal to teach my class whilst attending two meetings and observing another teacher, then providing feedback information. Photographer leaves a voicemail message to say probably can't do the wedding after all....ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!
4. Friday - Demonstration lesson: more meetings. Try to settle a crazy class on a Friday to demonstrate a Quality Teaching Writing lesson...HA
5. Weekend - family, friends....REPORTING
6. Monday - a VERY 'trying' student returns: back to his normal ways in a matter of hours. Mother jokes 'you must have enjoyed the break. You probably felt sick when you saw him return'. I smiled and said 'not at all'...but on the inside I was screaming "TAKE HIM BACK!!!". Supervisor noticed I'm a little stressed and offers for me to hand my reports in on Friday (when they are due anyway....?) I decline as that is the busy part of this horrible fortnight.
7. Tuesday - finished reports (HALLELUJAH!!): Supervisor away and not planning on coming in for the rest of the week....so I could've handed them in NEXT TUESDAY!
8. Wednesday - Breathe....went to bed at 6pm
9. Thursday - Observation lesson - again...watch teachers, prepare work, meetings, feedback. Went shopping with mum, had nails 'done'. On an aside...I like now just being able to say I had my nails 'done'...I feel like a should add 'darling' on the end.
10. Friday - okay...get ready for it....meeting, art groups, sport, assembly (yes...my class were presenting it...so that includes a LOT of coordination), demonstration lesson, duty, choosing time. I didn't have time to pee. Literally. By the end of the day I was dancing around waiting for late parents to pick up their kids just so I could visit the toilet. PARENTS PLEASE PICK UP YOUR CHILDREN ON TIME!!! Your teacher will love you for it. On another aside I have one student that is consistently picked up at least 15 minutes late daily. That is an extra hour and 15 weekly. Given the course of a year, that is more than an extra working week that I spend looking after this one child! To top it off, anyone living in Sydney (or central coastal New South Wales for that matter) would know that the weather was hideous yesterday. Pouring rain galeforce winds...and all of that equals CRAZY KIDS. I was shaking with the stress. Apparently I appeared very calm though...amazing.

So now it is Saturday morning and I'm listening to the rain outside from my nice warm bed. The wind has finally subsided. My reports are finished. My program is finished. All of those horrible extras are over. My Deputy Principal happens to be into photography and has done a few weddings...and offered to do mine for the price of a memory card. I have 3 days off!!! Huzzah for the Queen...Oh...AND (I just remembered) I get to see lots of my beautiful friends for a bridal shower today! It certainly will be a shower with all of this rain...less than 4 weeks to the wedding and just over 2 weeks until my hero returns.

All is well in the world once more...

xxx

Quote of the day "I'll wear whatever you want me to wear...but I'm not wearing that"


xxx

This quote resonated in my head this morning:

"Music organises your intelligence" - Wynton Marsalis

It was spoken in the context of jazz - but I'm now thinking about it in relation to other genres and I think there is some truth in that. It also says something about the intelligence of some of the people producing some of the garbage that is around at the moment too...

xxx